What to Expect When Entering Counseling By: Mary Kate Mueller, CIT

Over time, working with clients has taught me the role of a counselor or therapist is not always clearly understood. Whether it be from social media, a quick search on the internet, or word of mouth – interpretations of expectations vary when imagining what counseling will be like. In hopes to ease anxiety about starting the journey through therapy, I want to take a moment and explore potential expectations of counseling.

Counselors are here to meet their clients where they presently are with unconditional positive regard. What does that mean? It means we are meant to fully accept our clients and support them as they are. Counseling is not a space for a power dynamic to exist, nor is the counselor there to criticize their client. Many times, clients have expressed fear of their counselor’s judgement if they reveal too much. The reality is: we, as counselors, are in no position to do so and honor the courage it takes to be vulnerable. We can best serve our clients when they are brave enough to disclose their inner conflict and struggles, but only when disclosed at a tolerable pace. We recognize the importance of caution in moving too fast, too soon with sensitive material. Rushing can be overwhelming. We walk alongside our clients as they share their narratives in the hopes of being able to assist them in promoting beneficial change. Our primary goal as counselors is to help facilitate change that can improve one’s quality of life.

What tools can be provided in counseling? As counselors, we can provide coping skills to help better regulate one’s thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. We also provide psychoeducation on what you may be experiencing. This knowledge can empower clients to separate themselves, as individuals, from the symptoms they’re experiencing, so that they can better manage them. We encourage our clients to examine their circumstances and realistically evaluate what can be adjusted to encourage healthier habits and enhance daily function. Counselors can also provide alternative perspectives on situations and provide some insight into how navigating a situation may look. This information is not the entirety of what a counselor is able to help with, but provides a general idea of what may be worked on.

Not every session will be a monumental breakthrough. Counseling takes time, effort, and patience. Some days, it may feel like you’re merely venting or updating your counselor. That is okay and a normal part of the process. However, something to be mindful of is: clients can only work on what they bring to the sessions. Since counselors see you for only a small portion of your week, we cannot necessarily decide what should be discussed every time. We can provide prompts or ask questions, but the client will need to bring in what they hope to work on.

Let’s say you’re going through a difficult situation and you’re not sure what you should do next. Can a counselor just give you the answers? Unfortunately, no! For starters, counselors only meet with you for a short period of time per week. We do not have the full context of how the advice we could give would play out outside of the office. Secondly, if a counselor were to consistently give their clients advice and make difficult decisions for them, it would limit autonomy. By making the decision for the client, they may become dependent on the counselor and can further avoid engaging in the decision-making. As counselors, we seek to help clients make their own decisions and take their own accountability for their outcomes. We will be there after a decision has been made to process the experience and what was gained from it.